This is the second post in a five-part series entitled, “What If My Child Hates His Teacher?” As parents, we know that a positive relationship between teacher and child can make a monumental difference in the school experience.

This series is intended to give big people the tools to help foster a connection between a child and his educator.

2010_0416ADMy son on his first day of preschool. The expression on his face says it all.
He didn’t “hate” his teacher but he sure did need a settling in period. 

Play on the idea that “Birds of a feather flock together.”

If you think about the different people in your life that you have a strong connection with and that you feel positively about, and you had to identify some of the reasons that relationship has worked, you would probably find yourself identifying some things that you had in common.

You both love golf.

You both have a coffee obsession.

You both love to read.

The reason you would identify things that you have in common is that we typically feel more comfortable and are quicker to settle into relationships with people with whom we have something in common. Use this to have your child and teacher forge a connection in the classroom.

So if your child loves to paint and you noticed that her teacher has a funky painted welcome back sign tacked to her door, say something like, “I love this sign that you painted. So welcoming for all of the kids. And Alice loved it too – she adores painting and came home the first day all full of happiness about the fact that you paint too!” Or maybe, “Alice adores Pete the Cat – she was so excited to see all of the Pete books you have collected.

And then, do the same thing for your child, just switched the other way around. “Alice honey – did you see that welcome back sign that Ms. Jones had painted for the door – she loves painting too!”

Or, “Did you see ALL of the Pete the Cat books that Ms. Jones has collected – can you believe you got a teacher that loves Pete as much as you do?”

Adjust your examples to suit the age of your child and have it be something that resonates for him/her.

This is all about directing both your child’s gaze and the teacher’s gaze towards the similarities they share to pave the way for an easier pathway to connection.


Read all five parts of this series: Playing Match-Maker, Birds of a Feather, Making Friends, The Connection Chat and Act Swiftly and Fiercely. 


Dr V