We live in a day and time when technology is all around us. The fact is, technology is simply a part of life now. And as much as that is true today, it is going to be increasingly so as our children grow. So it is important that the implementation of healthy boundaries and habits around technology use and exposure is part of what we as parents take on for our children.
Drawing on the science of child development, and knowing how essential face-to-face human relationships are to healthy outcomes for our children, I have created a list of 11 ideas to out you out in front of the technology revolution, and in charge of your child’s healthy development.
At the bottom of this post is a shareable infographic of the Top 5 strategies to change how technology is used in your home. Use it in a way that works for you – read it, print it, share it with a friend – and consider whether you need to make some changes to the technology habits in your home.
Our Family’s Technology Rules
– 11 ideas to make sure technology does not get in the way of childhood/development –
Structured connections
Hold “together time” in your family as sacred. Reserve meals, time before AND after the hustle of the day, daily walks, reading, and playtime as opportunities to connect for real. Schedule all of this until it becomes routine.
Digital free zones
Remove technology from rooms that already have a primary purpose for rest and/or connection, including bedrooms and dining rooms.
Digital free times
Keep technology off during any time of the day that has historically/culturally been intended for togetherness, including mealtimes, evening, bedtime, and other typical family times.
Tech Holidays
Turn it off, every now and then. Maybe a specific day out of the week, when you are away on family vacation, and/or during school holidays.
Structure and Routine
Have a “way” of “being” when it comes to technology including a set amount of time per day and set periods of the day. Actually track this visually to stay on top of it.
Emotional connection first. Technology rules second.
Connect with your child emotionally first in a caring and/or playful way. Then implement whatever rule you need to.
Introduce competition
Have there be other things you/your children love to do, including getting them outside into nature. Aim for 15 minutes per day at least of connected special time with your children.
Welcome boredom
Respond to bordom with…nothing! Wait for the spark from within to ignite an organic desire to do something.
Act in the service of your children.
Avoid acting in the service of the world. Disapproval and rejection by others due to your family’s technology management is not of concern. Your relationship with your child is.
Be capable
Be sure to have some “swagger” when it comes to your remarkable capacity as an adult. You might not be able to keep up in a video game or on social media. But do you have a hobby or skill? Own that and teach it.
Monitor content
The intense exposure of children to violent and aggressive images and themes is unsettling. Stay on top of that. Rely not only on industry ratings but also common sense and good judgement.
Read, print or share this infographic of five ways to manage technology successfully in your family. Introduce these ideas into your family routine, and ensure that technology use isn’t detracting from quality family and play time in your household.
Make this the year that you stop feeling helpless or angry at your child’s behaviour. You don’t have to go to bed worrying about how you could have handled things better that day.
Parenting is not a battle to be won; it’s a relationship with your child that should be understood, cherished, and guided. You’ve got this. And if you find you are needing a little help along the way, no problem. Take my hand and let’s do this together.
Discipline Without Damage: How To Get Your Kids to Behave Without Messing Them Up is available in bookstores right now!
